Leo's Raves and Reviews: KRS One Interview

My dear friends and acquaintances, I hope that you are all prepared for the havoc we are going to set off on the free world when this is up and running correctly.  As we, the force to be reckoned with known lovingly throughout the world  as ADZ, are going to undo the fragile existence that you thought you once knew.

The flags have dropped, and we are off with the sound of squealing tires and the mayhem that followed the dripping trail of blood and guts from our old music review editor Doug, may he rest in pieces.

Now the brakes are broke, and I, Leo Bloom, will be your new music guru and failed skate Dork.  I hope that you have the ability to follow this, because it’s going to be a wild and hard ride.  But I think we can make it, because I am in the pilot seat, and all you have to worry about is if the stewardess gives you the small package peanuts, and if she puts the Segrams by the 7-up to help you get thru the turbulence.

My first spin will be with KRS One.  The man with the voice of wisdom and conscience.  He has an album, soon to be out in 2010, called “Back To The L.A.B” (Lyrical Ass Beating), a 6 track phenomenon only to be released online for $4.99.  You can find it yourself, I don’t have to advertise for one of the greatest rappers alive, but I will give you a one on one interview that I had with KRS One last week in my living room.

LB:  Where did you get your start on the rap scene?

KRS: Well, Leo, it started when I was on the streets with my nihilistic friend Scott La Rock in the early 80′s.  When we had no place to go, and the belt’s were tight.

LB: Okay, buddy, I don’t quite understand what you’re trying to say.

KRS: Can I put it any simpler Leo.  Scott and I were both broke and living on the streets of the Bronx.

LB:  So you’re trying to say?……

KRS:  What I am trying to say Leo, is that we were two poor people trying to make a living, and the only way we saw how to get out of the ghetto was to make our own music.

LB:  Okay, I think the only word I understood in that last sentence was “Music”.  Other than that…., I still have no idea what you just said.

KRS:  Are you trying to offend me Leo?  I come here to your house to give you an interview and all you can say is you can’t understand what I am saying?

LB:  …… No, I’m sorry, I still can’t understand a damn word you just said!  I invite you over here for a nice conversation, and you mock me in my own house!

KRS:  So, this is how you treat your guest?!!  I think I’m going to leave before I have to kick your white ass!

LB:  You know KRS, I still can not believe that you can come to a man’s house and treat him like your house dog.  I think that you are going to have to leave before Mr. Whitey has to open a can-o-whipass!

KRS:  That does it, you freaking nut!  I’m leaving, and don’t think that you’re ever going to get another interview with ANY rapper!!  EVER AGAIN!!

(KRS storm’s out of Leo’s house)

LB:  Well, I guess that wraps up my rap career.  I still wish I could have understood that KRS fella a little better.  I just guess he needs a little more education.  Maybe he should clean the cotton out of his mouth.  And KRS, if you think I’m going to promote your next album, you better guess again.

Leo Bloom~Music Reviewer