How to be an obnoxious MAC user

Reposted from Office Daze…

To all of you who are MAC users and know how to use a MAC don’t worry this does not apply to you. For all of you who use a MAC just so you can join the ranks of people who know what they are doing, you should just go back to windows . . . PLEASE!! If you are unsure here is a list of what you can do so that you too can be a member of the group of people I despise.

1. When your IT support arrives, mention that you got a MAC so that you can stick it to the man (Microsoft) because MAC is way better, then be prepared to offer no support as to how you have it set up.

2. Utilize the background ability to change pictures, set it to change pictures at the smallest interval so as to give your computer that “I don’t know what I did, but it looks cool” look. Set / take / upconvert all of your pictures to the highest resolution possible, and make them all Vacation pictures and family pictures with no discernable theme.

3. Along with the ever changing background, you MUST open up Safari and at least 20 other programs, stream music, sync your iPod, and be playing Farmville for the best impact.

4. Do not turn any of that off when I remote in.

5. Before I remote in, while on the phone with you, If I ask you to go to system preferences; tell me that you don’t know where to find it because you used to be a Windows user and there is no Start button. Then leave the system preferences up so that when I do remote it you look like an idiot.

6. Tell me that your IT guy is the only one who really knows how to use a MAC, you just use it because the company reimbursed you for a new Laptop.

7. Tell me you know EXACTLY how you stored the files on your HDD then ask where “My Computer” is so you can show it to me. Get angry when I tell you there is no “My Computer” you just need to go to the HDD icon. Be sure to use windows terms and insist that only you know how to use the machine. Be sure to get extremely confused when I use what little MAC terms I know.

8. Don’t turn on ANY of the multi-touch features of the mouse, then call me up when they don’t work. Insist that I messed it up. When I get it working again ask for a tutorial of how to use them all because it’s something new that you have never seen before.

9. Be extremely contradictory.

10. Exclaim, “HUH…” when I tell you that “.exe” files will not work on your MAC. Tell me stories about how your nephew’s, son’s, cousin’s, retarded friend’s, girlfriend’s, mother’s, uncle; got it to work once and that I just don’t know anything.

Now I know that some of these do apply to windows users: parts of numbers 2, 3, and 4, but most of these are what I come across when attempting to provide outside help for MAC users . . . EVERYTIME!! Now I’m not saying I’m a guru with MAC’s, but I think I know enough about it to make something work. So if you have a MAC and need help, in order to make your IT guy’s life a living hell for the 30 minutes you are online with him . . . please follow these steps.

Oh and make sure to tell me over and over again how I’m a communist because I use windows . . . please.

Thank you