2010 NFL Predictions

I’ve been slacking. Apparently the title of “Sports Editor” actually entails writing about sports at least some of the time. Clearly, this fact has been lost on me recently, however in my defense – there just hasn’t been much going since it is the NFL Preseason, after all. What – did you think that we’d be covering Baseball here? If so – get acquainted with the word “disappointed” (Cubs fans should already be well acquainted with the term); I’d rather have my ballsack stapled to a burning building than suffer through a single inning of baseball.

The good news is that the long, bleak offseason is just about over and Football is about to start, and I’ve seen enough to make some predictions about the upcoming season. As a disclaimer, before anyone starts pulling out calculators and thinks to call me out on the Win/Loss ratios – they are loose estimations and won’t exactly jibe with actual games played etc.

49ers - 6-12: Good Defense, but that’s about it. The 49′ers will rot for quite a bit longer.

Bears - 7-9 : Jay Cutler: 24-29 as a starter. Really, that says it all. There’s always next year, right Chicago fans?

Bengals - 9-7: Between the psychiatric bills and bail money, Cinci will only be able to sustain this team for about a year. They’ll be back to the NFL cellar by next season.

Bills - 4-12: These guys couldn’t suck any more even if they were headquartered in a truck stop bathroom.

Broncos - 9-7: Welcome to the Tebow era in Denver – It oughta be fun to watch, but this year might be a little rough for the rookie.

Browns - 5-11: Holmgren takes over as the new Head Coach for the Browns, but not much will change this year.

Buccaneers - 3-13: Yeah, it was Dungy that couldn’t get them over the hump…

Cardinals - 11-5: Arizona should be pretty tough, and with Leinert now on the trading block, anything could happen…

Chargers - 12-4: Always the bridesmaid, never the bride.

Chiefs - 4-12: Q: How do you keep the Kansas City Chiefs out of your yard? A: Put up a goal post

Colts - 11-5: Will continue to compete, but Peyton doesn’t have enough gas left in the tank to take them all the way. Look for them to self combust in spectacular fashion come December.

Cowboys - 13-3: Locked, cocked, and ready to rock – Look for the ‘Boys to take it home this year. The only thing that can keep Dallas from taking home the Lombardi at home this year, is Dallas itself.

Dolphins - 7-9: Nope, not there yet.

Eagles - 9-7: Hey, I hear Marvin Harrison is available and right down the street.

Falcons - 10-6: Things are looking up in the ATL with Turner returning healthy. Beyond that, there just isn’t much to look forward to.

Giants  -8-8: One suggestion: Draft some defense. The Offense will win some games,  but the defense will give the rest away.

Jaguars - 8-8: As with all Florida NFL Teams, the best you can hope for is mediocrity.

Jets - 11-5: The Jets have most of the pieces in place and should be able to win the AFC.Rex Ryan has predicted a Super Bowl appearance, and win – I predict that he’ll collapse in a horrific jelly doughnut accident.

Lions - 3-13: Well, they can’t get any worse – Right, Detroit?

Packers - 11-5: The Pack will continue to be in contention, but don’t have any consistent breakout players to really take it home.

Panthers - 8-8: Pushing the limits of average since 1995. This year will be no different.

Patriots - 0-16: No, I don’t really believe that they’ll go 0-16 – but it felt gooood typing it. Realistically, and with any luck, they’ll go 9-7 and flounder early in the playoffs.

Raiders - 4-12: One of the biggest jokes in the NFL; Until Al Davis sells, the punchline won’t change.

Rams - 1-15: Not worth the effort.  Bottom dwellers yet again.

Ravens - 10-6: As usual, all defense with a painfully average offense. Nothing to see here, move along…

Redskins - 4-12: The NFC’s answer to the Raiders. Sorry this happened to you McNabb, but hey – at least your working – right?

Saints - 12-4: Pulling for them, but doubt that they will be able to repeat as Champs. Crash and burn deep in the playoffs.

Seahawks - 6-10: Q: What do you call 47 millionaires sitting around a TV watching the Super Bowl? A: The Seattle Seahawks

Steelers - 6-10: Rapelisberger being out for 4-6 games early In the season effectively closes the door for them this year.

Texans - 9-7: If they can finally manage to keep opposing defenses from removing the QB’s head, they might be OK.

Titans - 11-5: Look for Vince Young to take the reins this year and do some great things. Not necessarily contenders, but will definitely be competitive.

Vikings - 10-6: Purple Jesus can’t even save this trainwreck – especially with Favre’s walker blocking all of the holes on the inside .