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Archive for the ‘Assorted Topics’ Category
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The Motor Cyclist III: Absurdity
In the domain of The Wiz, I would know the truth about the motorcycle; if→ Mas
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ALIEN VIBRATORS
“Try our new vibrator! IT ALSO FUCKS UP YOUR HAIR!”
So I’m minding my own→ Mas -
The Motor Cyclist 2: The Wrong Reasons to Ride
Waking under a Ford LTD, as I had for 37 years, I was clenched in→ Mas
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When Winter was WINTER…
You People Are Complaining About THIS Weather?!?
At the risk of sounding like one of→ Mas -
Love The One You’re With
Anyhoo! I’m feeling great, listening to Crosby Stills and Nash’s singing, “Love the One You’re→ Mas
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Premature Upheaval
We are going to come to a monumental upheaval.
A new way of thinking and→ Mas -
Driving like somebody’s gonna die….
Here’s a tip! Don’t tie your shoes while driving!
Here’s another tip! If you plan→ Mas -
We’re going hunting…
This could be my last entry. My daughter’s boyfriend Leo wants to go stalk bunnies→ Mas
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The Motor Cyclist
Fighting a strong urge to laugh, I said, “I always wanted a motorcycle. They take→ Mas
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Seems I knew a Satanist
Friends don’t come and go
and I don’t choose who I care about.
A five→ Mas -
President Newt 2012: Inspiring Quotes from Newt
We have always been a staunchly conservative website here at ADZ. Since the days when→ Mas
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YOU GAVE GRAMMA THIS PICTURE?!?
I went to visit my Grandmother at the nursing home. I knew Gramma recognized me→ Mas
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TWO VERY DIFFERENT DEER (S?)
HUNTERS! If you want to set up a deer-stand in Monroe County, I recommend the→ Mas
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The Art of Scooter Maintenance
On the way home from work I pulled up to a stop sign, looked down→ Mas
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THEY NEED TO LIGHTEN UP AT THE BLOOMINGTON HOSPITAL…
Here’s something you should know. If you’re in the hospital and I come visit I→ Mas
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Herman Cain Do Attitude: Departure from Love Field
I was in Dallas, which at some point in history had the most strip clubs→ Mas
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MELTDOWN — Not My Best Week
The first call came at 3:30 AM last Friday night and it was the police! Actually→ Mas
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Judge, jury, executioner and a douchebag.
Texas judge William Adams viciously beats daughter who has cerebral palsy for using the internet.→ Mas
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I SAW (AND HEARD) SOME GHOSTS ONE NIGHT.
MY TRUE GHOST STORY.
When I was a kid my Mom worked at Editype. Their slogan→ Mas -
I’M SURE I WON’T SEE ANYBODY I KNOW!
That’s what I thought when I zipped down to the IGA (which has not been→ Mas
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This isn’t Austin, This is Africa
How do these mutants find me? I don’t even have a tattoo but they always→ Mas
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DorkChick Thinks Walgreens Is Stupid
So, I needed some stuff earlier and decided that Walgreens was the best place to→ Mas
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RECENT PRESIDENTS 101
When I was a boy Presidents were different.
I was born with a Democrat in→ Mas -
For Love Of The Game
Baseball. The American Pastime…→ Mas
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THE DUCKS ARE ON THE POND! (AND IN THE BATHROOM)
In case you haven’t picked up on this yet, I am not renowned for my→ Mas
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HALLOWEEN IS JUST AROUND THE CORNER! (For a free consultation just call 1-800-BAD-CANDY.)
But there’s no candy around the corner yet. I checked.
I love Halloween. I always→ Mas -
ON THE ROAD AGAIN
For the first time since August 5th I donned my running shoes and started down→ Mas
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BOWLING! A MINUTE TO LEARN, A LIFETIME (45 minutes) TO MASTER.
This is our second year on a bowling team and I have to say, much→ Mas
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In The Halls Of Justice…
Sorry I’ve been AWOL. I got caught up in legal proceedings. Not against ME (for→ Mas
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TAKING THE ELAVATOR BURNS 1.5 CALORIES. TAKING THE STAIRS BURNS 10!
That’s what the signs read on the elevators at THE BLOOMINGTON HOSPITAL. What they don’t→ Mas
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WHY ARE YOU ASKING ME? (THE NEW YORK SUBWAY SYSTEM)
Wherever I go, for some reason strangers always ask ME for DIRECTIONS.
That’s always ironic→ Mas -
IT WAS A TRAFFIC CONE!
We were late to see an attorney. There was road construction.
Our TOM had its G.P.S. stuck→ Mas -
HAUNTED! The Budget Inn of New Stanton, PA! (or maybe WV)
The Travel Channel’s Ghost Adventurers need to visit the Budget Inn in New Stanton, Pennsylvania (or→ Mas
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Republican Candidates, Meet Your New Coach: Bob Knight
Alright GOD DAMN IT! You people need to get YOUR SHIT TOGETHER! I’m going to→ Mas
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Let’s lose the cat!
To commemorate the 10th Anniversary of the 911 terrorist attacks I went out in the→ Mas
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The three stages of un-returned phone calls…
ONE OF THE PERKS THAT SOUNDS MOST WONDERFUL when you dream of owning your own→ Mas